Well team, one could argue that I am biased because I have been around VATSIM (and SATCO) since the first few months of SATCO's inception in the mid-90s. I am one of the founders of SATPAC (which as since become VATPAC) (
http://www.vatpac.org) which is the Oceania Division of VATSIM. I was Director of the Division for 8 years until it was time to step aside a year ago and let someone else take over. I'm still a VATSIM Supervisor, a position I have held for many years.
I fly online on VATSIM 99.99999% of the time and the only times I don't fly online is when my internet connection is down. This has been the case since the very beginning and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm sadenned when I read stories like some of the experiences that you report here because it's really unfortunate how a few can spoil it for the rest.
I can vouch mainly for our division here in Oceania (primarily Australia and New Zealand but we do stretch throughout the Pacific) that we have a very relaxed attitude and we've prided ourself in not getting caught up in too much of the political clap trap that other divisions have (especially in the US and Europe) and have just got on and had fun. We're lucky to have the reputation throughout the VATPAC world as one of the friendliest divisions with some of the best Controllers. We've ended up with a number of people from the UK, Europe and the US transferring to our division because we're back doing what VATSIM was established for, to have fun with others sharing a common interest.
Notwithstanding all this, I too have had my moments with some controllers (and some pilots too for that matter) who have got a weenie bit too big for their boots or taken it all a little bit too seriously, especially when flying in areas that I was not as familiar with (I personally find it MUCH easier flying around places I have been to in real life and can build up a mental picture in my mind of the surrounds than some of the places I have not visited and can't picture) or with procedures that differed from what I grew up within New Zealand or what I have got used to since living in Australia (and there's even some differences between our two countries). An example of this has been in the US where often airports seen to use a runway that is not dependent on wind direction whereas I'm used to landing and departing into wind rather than with a 20+ knot tailwind component! I could never understand why I was being abused for using the wrong runway.
I always recommend to new pilots learning the VATSIM environment to put a note in their flightplan indicating that they are a newbie so that the Controller can make allowances. And also, I suggest that if they don't understand an instruction, they simply ask. One should NEVER forget that even ATC is not in charge of the aircraft, it is still the pilot's responsibility to aviate and navigate and they (even in the real world) have the right to question an ATC instruction, especially if it is going to have them flying into terrain!
I personally love my on-line flight simulation experience and at the end of the day, it is more often than not much more realistic than Micro$oft ATC and it's nicer to hear voices from other real life pilots than computer generated callsigns from airlines I've never heard of!
If anyone needs any assistance getting online with VATSIM, I'd be more than happy to assist.
Mark